Sometimes we tend to be our worst boss. Putting expectations on our shoulders, timelines to our healing processes, demands to our identity. The line between healthy personal growth and unrealistic toxic expectations can be very thin.
We just can't put too much expectations on ourselves without balancing that out with understanding, kindness and patience. I mean, we are human beings. We have, craved in our nature, an integrated relationship to both the good and the evil, the black and white, the joy and the pain.
Sometimes erratic, sometimes accurate, sometimes brave, sometimes unstable, sometimes stupid, sometimes smart, sometimes evil, sometimes kind.
We can't experience one without the other.
I guess what I'm trying to say is we can't, regardless of the situation, force ourselves to lean towards one side of the coin. It does not work that way.
"You shouldn't be feeling this"
"You shouldn't be thinking about this"
Yet, you are.
Yet, you are the being that feels that feeling.
Yet, you are the being that thinks that thought.
Denying it changes nothing.
Judging it just makes it worse.
That part of our brains, that puts the expectation, the desire on our identity to feel something different, or to think something different, that's the part that needs to slow down.
Reality is what it is. Our beings are what they are. We can't open up if we first don't have an accepting and kind attitude towards the present state of our beings.
You are what you are, and that's perfectly fine.
Now, what is in your control to do the things you want to do?